Every evening, when I finish writing and shout his name out of the window, he will quickly promise to run through more than 20 peacocks towards the diaojiao building where I live. He will not run into my room, but timidly watch me pick up the sundries at the window. His lips moved several times and he finally failed to speak. Finally, when I picked them up, he pointed to the distance with a little excitement and said, Look.
I don’t look at the bottom of the sun when I watch, and I don’t look at the new situation when I come here. The desert island is blocked by mountains and floods. I haven’t looked up for a whole month. I have long known that he has repeatedly pointed out those things to me. It’s not wild cats chasing three or two birds into the jungle. A small wooden boat is spinning in the vortex. It’s not climbing high and looking far. Peacock flowers are happening very much, but they won’t lead me away from the desert island at this moment. In the end, we still have to suffer from dementia and madness in all the world. Lend me a pair
I’d rather see him take a walk from the island, with more than 600 steps, and walk aimlessly through a dozen shipyards, large and small. When it gets dark, we will go back to the mountains and the stars will shine at night, so he can’t help but sing in the stars and swallow the rest of the lyrics abruptly. He should have glanced at me shyly, but it was so dark that we couldn’t see each other’s faces clearly.
Even if he can’t see his face clearly, he is still my little brother, although he is thin and timid. He is fifteen years old and he is a boy from Anhui.
His name is Lian Sheng.
The miracle happened on the night of rising water. We walked a long way back as usual, still walking in tandem. The sound of the river beating against the breakwater echoed all the time. Suddenly, Lotus sang loudly. I turned back in surprise, but he didn’t face the river. evil influence was generally physically strong. Not only was I shocked, but even a motor boat sailing in the quiet night lit up. Two fishermen kept looking at the shore from the lights. They might still have a murder here, but I was simply shocked by this sudden but not by the song. I don’t know for a moment. I forgot who the person in front of me was and what he wanted to do. I remember correctly that the last time I heard such a voice song was in Shanxi, where people suspected that a generation could not walk to the end.
I waited for a while for Lian Sheng to finally finish singing. We continued to walk forward with one foot deep and one foot shallow, but the river still echoed in our ears. I never asked him to sing suddenly, but I knew that when he was singing, I somehow remembered some embarrassing scenes of Peking Opera playing in the grass platform in the middle school playground twenty years ago. Finally, when the walk ended, I could see that Lian Sheng was thinking and thinking. He still told me that I was actually the same person.
This is the only Italian Buzzatti I brought to a desert island. A young soldier was ordered to go to the northern desert of the enemy’s border to wait for the ambush of the enemy. Unexpectedly, he didn’t see what his enemy was like all his life. What could he do in the battlefield without the enemy? He was so obsessed with boredom and repeatedly told himself that it was necessary to believe in waiting, so he was finally declared dead by his compatriots. We didn’t meet the enemy either, but he died in the battlefield.
Is the young man in Lian Shengran’s novel similar to me? The island where he lives together is actually equivalent to Buzzatti’s pen Tatar desert. At many lonely moments, I have heard him talk about his origin. After graduating from a small village in Wuhu, he came here to work as a cook, and his uncle was able to make ends meet, so he was sent to this island. It is said that the name of this island has been called Peacock Island since the Qing Dynasty, but that is just a different landform. It was because a group of people had a whim to turn it into a real Peacock Island five years ago. The reintroduction of several diaojiao buildings to African peacocks, begging tourists to patronize them, backfired. From the beginning to the end, not many people knew that this place was a desert island again. The beams of diaojiao buildings were covered with moss, but they had to wait on those peacocks who didn’t know what to do with them, so Lotus gave birth to the island in a blink of an eye for two years.
He hasn’t left this island for two years, and no one has come to see him. Every half a month, he will be asked by boatmen to bring him food and drink. Every half a year, those invisible employers will also send him meager wages. Before I came, his food and grass had been cut off for two months because it was said that employers had completely fallen out and he no longer asked about this desert island. For two months, he waited on peacocks, and he relied on passing boatmen to give alms. Fortunately, those peacocks were temporarily worried about their lives, and their food was filled next door to my room, fearing that they could not be eaten for ten years, A bunch of questions, but it is impossible to expect the passing boatman to give an answer. Whether he should plant a vegetable garden after the grain and grass are cut off? How long will the peacock die from here? There are more questions. Who is his employer now? Who is he waiting on those colorful companions? How long will he stay here? Will employers ask about this desert island again one day?
People are crazy about me. It’s sad that Xiaoqing is struggling for almost a month. When she graduated from primary school, Lian Sheng finished reading a traditional vertical novel and found herself in the park. That is to say, he lost sight of his situation. God knows whether it is bad or good for him. Everyone can recognize and agree with his situation, just like some drunkards confuse him or make him obsessed. Just don’t wake him up. When he wakes up, he will go crazy. But his little brother Lian Sheng doesn’t wait for a dusk. When we walk, he doesn’t look at me timidly and tell me.
So he started to move. Since something new happened under the sun, he planted vegetable gardens for a week in a row. He squatted on the breakwater all day to plead with the passing boatmen. He asked them for radish seeds, sweet potato seeds and even watermelon seeds. Whenever he succeeded, he rushed to the island and ran to a small piece of land in the jungle. That was his vegetable garden, his little utopia, and our silent island became more and more homesick as his songs ran. I gave him some money in the past, and now he asked the boatmen to buy it. He bought a flock of geese and successfully arranged them to parade through the streets among peacocks. He also bought silk thread. He said that he would weave a fish so that he wouldn’t worry about his mouth. He also bet on whether he would blush, because he secretly set a goal and hoped that I would teach him ten traditional Chinese characters every day. How can blushing work?
But I was still amazed by his singing. I doubt that he has finished singing these days. Whether he is weaving by the river or playing with peacocks and geese, his mouth is red. But that is not a miracle. It happened on another night of rising water. It rained heavily. I was awakened again by lotus songs. I hit the window and saw that he was wet and guarded his utopia by flashing. The new buds in the vegetable field were not destroyed. He hung his bedding high above the trees while his new buds sat together and sang. The lyrics were as rough as stones.
I suddenly felt tired of it. If I can cry against me, I will tell Lotus that I am actually in the marginal Tatar desert. But when I think of the past of weeds and Peking Opera and you have opened your mouth, I can’t tell you anything. In fact, I can’t write a word, that is, I fled from the desert to a desert island. I still can’t write a word. I write every day, but I am in a daze and crazy.
Yes, in front of our eyes, or in a desert or a desert island, our physical soul can be wrapped by it. Even with our wings, we can’t fly into pea buds. What can we do? Kafka said that all obstacles are crushing me. Heidegger said that one world is not enough for people. Su Dongpo said that when I hate this body, I forgot to camp. Yahua said that the kingdom of heaven is near, and you should repent. It’s just you, my little brother. You said that I thought about it and I want to move.
That’s it, even in the middle of the night after the storm rock, you may meet your destiny. It’s a destiny to flash and sing a new bud. It’s a destiny for a younger brother. The younger brother will tell you that I’ve thought about it. I want to move. Don’t worry about anything. Go and hug him and cry because he is your little brother in the Tatar desert.
8 Chang ‘an Moqiong Tree
For a long time, every day after midnight, I can see people fighting in front of the hospital from the escort small hospital. It is not surprising that in this urban-rural junction, poverty and livelihood, rainy days and drinking too much wine can be a fight. Whoever has to find a way to prove himself may be drinking, falling in love or pure violence.
Tonight’s fight is no different from shouting, beating and killing the police on weekdays. It’s not surprising that the police didn’t come late and ended in blood. It’s a little strange and exciting to see a dark, perennial waterlogged farmer’s market, which is full of rotten melons and rough grievances all day long. Everyone looks flustered. Wang Gu is left and right. When the lottery ticket door arrives, it’s still full of people who are tired and believe in all kinds of myths. It’s hard to fight. It’s a little strange and exciting to tie thieves up and parade around, and his brother-in-law killed his brother-in-
Actually, when I passed the scene of the fight, the fight was over, and the rest was covered in blood. People stumbled from the ground. I took one look and rushed to help him, because he was none other than me. I knew him too well. This young man under 20 years old was a hospital cleaner who came to Jiangxi and was so enthusiastic that he helped me many times when I couldn’t move the patient.
But now he is no longer the face I usually know, except for grief and indignation. He pushed me hard and left me with blood, but it seems that the blood didn’t come from him and he didn’t even wipe it. I can watch him leave, but I know in my heart that this young man has been bullied the most in his life and he will not stop there.
However, it wasn’t long before he came back from the hospital with a knife in his left hand and a knife in his right hand. Even if he entered the hospital, he didn’t dress up. Anger had made him almost hysterical. In front of this anger, the crowd of onlookers all evaded, saying that people were more looking forward to what would happen next. In fact, almost all the beating boys lived in this street. If he wanted to find him, he would surely find them.
At this moment, a sharp cry sounded behind the young man, and then an old woman hugged him tightly before running, and refused to let him go any further. But I knew that it was not his mother, that was his workmate and a cleaner like him. The old woman always smiled timidly when she met people, but she refused to talk more. I never seemed to hear her say a word. Unexpectedly, at this critical moment, she tried her best to hug the young man, and almost no one could understand the dialect, begging him to hurry back and sew the wound. At last, her hands never loosened from the young man’s waist.
I was bullied for a while, I needed a mother at the moment, and now the old woman is here. Who can deny that she is actually his mother at this moment?
After all, she was pushed by the guy who was short and thin, but the guy didn’t walk a few steps. The old woman chased after him and still hugged his waist. The guy dodged, but she still hugged his leg. Suddenly, the guy turned against her and shouted for her to let go. She didn’t let go after all, but it stimulated the guy’s anger. She dragged her stiffly and slowly forward through the water stall, past the braised pork shop and then past a small supermarket. Finally, she stopped to bow her head. Her eyes seemed to be staring at the old woman with a big mouth and panting.
After watching for a while, the young man lost his knife and sat on the ground crying. The old woman didn’t hug him at the same time, but she quickly took iodine out of her pocket, wiped his face and then wiped his hands, and then pulled him over and patted him on the shoulder. He still couldn’t understand the dialect. The young man didn’t understand what she was saying. Although crying was humiliating, it was the only way to get through the humiliation. He was still bleeding. The old woman didn’t stop, forcing him to pull him up from the ground almost like an order and then stumbled towards the hospital.
Watching them leave, I suddenly felt a sob in my body. What kind of opportunity is it to bind two people who were not kind before tonight together here and now, and how many cleaners in mean streets have recognized their mothers, hair salons, sisters, loaders and brothers, and more laundrymen, tailors, janitors, cooks, masons and couriers? I wonder whether no matter how unbearable or poor, everyone will have a chance to usher in this blessed event. After the emperor created man, he will throw them one by one into this lonely world. Live and die, and each of us will meet with illness, betrayal and death, which is doomed by life, but fortunately, not all of us are desperate in front of us. These encounters make us run to the outside world a little bit, just like drowning, and we will struggle further into the water, and finally the destiny takes a hand will come to our eyes. Those diseases leave those betrayals and deaths, but they become a candle. When the candle is lit, people will gradually gather around them. You are as frightened, panting and you have a more frightened face.
I often think that just like the red line in the hands of Yue Lao, this lucky opportunity should also be a string that passes through the gloom and reaches another hand from one person’s hand. In fact, this string is more accurate than Yue Lao’s red line in saving lives. It neither makes you strangers nor adds more puzzles to you. Entangled love and hate, thrush depth and add flowers and charcoal are just right and accurate to save lives.
Just like the seven-year-old patient in the ward, Mr. Yue didn’t know each other before he was admitted to the same ward. I know that one of them is a small Chinese teacher of a mine brother, but because the small family has been closed for many years, Mr. Yue hasn’t been a teacher for many years. A seven-year-old boy has been suffering from osteopathy since he was three years old, so he has been led by his parents to seek medical advice everywhere. For him, the hospital is a school, but he has never set foot in a real school.
In the ward, they are firstly patients, and secondly, they have become teachers again. In addition to this hospital, I have met this middle-aged woman in her forties in other hospitals several times in the past few years. She has already been tortured by illness, many quarrels, sad abandonment caused by illness, and her hair is full of white hair. However, when she took the ward as a classroom, some strange joy came to her, and her face turned pale all year round. Every day, two people were required to give infusion, and the moment was over. Although she used to be a Chinese teacher, here she taught ancient poetry, addition, subtraction,
At noon, when the patient’s escort is crowded with wards, it is Miss Yue’s most energetic time of the day. She will deliberately take many questions to test the minor illness. The ancient poem adds, subtracts, multiplies and divides English words, and everything will be tested. Finally, the minor illness can end the exam in the admiration of everyone. It’s like a light from God, which makes her shine all over, but the minor illness, after all, is a little stubborn, so she runs around the ward. Teacher Yue’s questions often cannot be answered. Compared with the ancient poem, Chang ‘an is a poor tree and a minor illness
This can hurt Miss Yue’s heart. She punished him for reciting it 300 times. It is also strange how many times he recited it. It’s like that poem is finished alive in the body of a small patient. When it comes to the exam, he can’t recite it anyway. In the end, even he is angry. He angrily asked Miss Yue. The doctor said that I would die in a few years. Why recite these things?
Speaking back and forth, I have witnessed Miss Yue crying twice. These two tears are actually minor patients. At noon this day, the minor patient angrily asked Miss Yue for an excuse to fetch water, and she wailed in the corridor, saying that it was a cry, but actually she didn’t pronounce it. As she walked, she cried and went to the front of the water room. Instead of going in, she threw herself on the wet wall and continued to cry.
Weeping knot is not to stop, but to teach him more, even more when I am with him. Her bone disease is not light, but since then I often see her limping behind the little patient, feeding him food, handing him water and accompanying him to the yard to pick a flower called No Name, but whether it is to send you a thousand miles away or teach you words, he will eventually say goodbye to her. The little patient is even more ill. Her parents have decided to take him to Beijing to hear the news, and she has been sleepless almost every night for a week.
Late at night, she quietly left the ward and sat in a long chair by the dim light in the corridor, writing and drawing. She told me that she would compile a textbook for the minor patient before he left. This textbook contains all ancient poems, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, as well as English words.
I don’t know why this night, when I saw the light shining in her body, I felt a strong sense of choking again. On this world, it was worth living after all. Candles lit up and people were even more frightened. But this gathering was good or bad, and it was still a name. Abandoned children were abandoned to everyone when they were removed from work, which was a livelihood. Abandoned children were married in the divorce registry. Abandoned children were in seclusion wards all year round. Abandoned children met with abandoned children sooner or later, and then dispersed sooner or later. But it was just when you and I got together, recited words, recited poems, and compiled
In fact, it is resistance that connects us together. In poverty, we listen to the wind outside the window carefully. In loneliness, we simply build ourselves a cell that we have to sit through. This is called resistance. In resistance, we will become ridiculous and disgusting, but this is that everyone can’t shirk their lives, just like a parrot. Now that it has been locked in a cage, what can I do is to recognize the cage first and then sing a song. Even in the end, I didn’t escape from the cage until death arrival. I am still a plaything, but wait a minute, all beings are not people. It’s only after the bumps in my life that I’m just a plaything, but I’m just being used as a puppet by creation, and I’ll spend it in vain after waves of unrest until my body and soul are all gone
But one thing is enough to comfort yourself. You don’t have nothing left, and you must leave traces of resistance. In this world, you have to go through resistance. Only resistance can match the dignity at the last moment. Just like the dim light at the moment, teacher Yue is writing and painting in the middle of the night, and she is going to make up a teaching material. It will serve as a rope. One end of it will be stretched out in the hands of the sick, and people will eventually hold it. At that time, people will hide in the dark, and their feelings will be revealed. Then the river will rush to hold the thread. At that time, people will
At the end of midnight, Miss Yue fell asleep, but I didn’t wake her up. The nurse didn’t wake her up when she passed by. It will wake up sooner or later. It will be windy and windy, and the window glass will shatter at her feet. She will wake up later, and the bone disease will hurt. She will scream and twitch again and again. She will wake up with her eyes open. This fate also includes a sudden departure early in the morning. The parents of the sick patient received news that they should go to Beijing quickly. They should hurry up and pick up their luggage to make up the arrears of medicine, then buy the train to eat food. Finally
At nine o’clock, the little patient left with his parents. Before he left, he said goodbye to the people in the ward, but he also said goodbye to Mr. Yue. However, although the textbook was almost finished, Mr. Yue still didn’t finish it. After all, he put it in the little patient’s luggage, squeezed his face and waved goodbye to him, and it was scribbled.
I didn’t know that a few minutes later, people were shouting Miss Yue’s name in the building-but she didn’t notice that she was just sitting in the hospital bed and didn’t say a word. Suddenly, she jumped out of the hospital bed and limped and ran to the window to hit the window, so that everyone in the ward heard the little patient shouting in the yard. It turned out to be a poem that was torn apart by him. Maybe it was because Miss Yue didn’t catch it clearly that she continued to shout Chang ‘an devoted herself to poor trees and devoted herself to them.
When I left, the little patient finally recited the two poems completely, but Miss Yue didn’t answer her. She was crying. She didn’t cry, but her mouth clenched her sleeve. Except for the faint and wailing, there was a huge silence left in the ward. No one persuaded her to fall into silence. It seems that everyone knows that crying here and now is her only way to look down.
9 Destiny Night
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